Brian Mueller

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M'kids
Note the acne, unkept hair, crusty lips, and empty stare.

Brian Mueller (aka Razorath aka ThePhilosofag aka Blake Mueller) is the kind of loser you picture in your head when someone says "Reddit atheist." He's a lazy fat neckbeard who dropped out halfway through high school and never pursued a real job.

He currently lives with his mother in Hinesville, Georgia, where he spends his days making YouTube videos and taking photos of objects around his house. To make himself look like even more of an edgy faggot, he has a smoking habit, paints his nails black, and even owns a fedora. Despite continuously proving himself to be a complete failure at life, Brian has a massive ego and tries to present himself as some deep intellectual.

YouTube[edit]

Explosions make your photos look cool.

Inspired by banana lover TheAmazingAtheist, Brian decided to drop out of his high school (Bradwell Institute) in 2012 to pursue a career in bitching in front of a camera. Despite making videos on and off over the past few years, Brian has never been able to make it past even 200 subscribers. This is because all of his content is either pseudo-intellectual ramblings or LOL SO RANDUMB garbage. It's also due to the fact that Brian can't stay consistent for shit. He's known to take long unannounced breaks from uploading, and give up on projects shortly after beginning them. The only people who actually bother watching his videos are his small circlejerk of internet friends. Since Brian's videos garner so little viewership, he's never made any money from YouTube.

In a desperate last ditch attempt to make some shekels, Brian created a Patreon page. He's had the page up for over a year now, and not a single person has been gullible enough to give this fat fuck any money. It's only a matter of time before he starts stripping for pay. Oh wait, he already does that for free.[1]

How Brian spent new years.
Brian Patreon.jpg

The Kewl Kidz Klub[edit]

Most of Brian's earlier videos were of him "ranting." Video titles included: "Fuck Da Copyright Police", "TYT Plus Is Fucking Stupid", "REALITY TV SUCKS!", and eventually "RANTING SUCKS!" Even though he repeatedly tried to validate himself within The Ranting Community, most people didn't give a shit about him. So Brian decided to make a group called The Kewl Kidz Klub. It consisted of every single edgy tryhard ranter on YouTube, with Brian as their ringleader.

Notable Members

  • Brandon Smith/Bannanahammer1/FlyingCyborgRaptor - A redneck alcoholic who thinks smoking on camera makes him look cool. Also in desperate need of a dental plan.
  • Heyzeus Krist - "Eviscerator of cunts. Defender of the sanctity of logic." Nuff said.
  • Brook Douthat/RazgrizTheDemonLord - A squeaker autist who's admitted to pulling his pud to other people, including Brian. He once shoved a flashlight up his ass and imagined it was Brian's dick. Other talents include doing a spot on impression of Woody Woodpecker.
  • Saket Antikumar/CultofClusterfuck - A curry-loving sperg known for his bipolar mood swings and Mickey Mouse impressions.






Hacked by David Markowski


Movie Reviews[edit]

Last thursday, Brian decided to become a film reviewer. His first review was about how Star Wars is *gasp* OVERRATED. However, instead of bringing anything new to the table, his video felt like a poor Man's version of YourMovieSucksDotOrg and JonTron. His humor was forced, the editing was clunky, and his points were disorganized and had little to no depth. Even though he planned to make more film reviews on his channel, Brian has zero dedication, so this is the only review he's ever uploaded. Remember, Brian wants to do this for a living.

REUPLOADS >>> [2][3]


Since Brian is a lazy editor, he gave up on visuals from 1:10 to 2:02.


The Drunken Peasants[edit]

Much to Brian's dismay, TheAmazingAtheist responded to Brian during a Drunken Peasants podcast. The Drunken Peasants took turns bashing Brian for a video where he told TheAmazingAtheist to get help. Brian doesn't seem to have any sense of irony. Upon discovering TheAmazingAtheist made a response to him, Brian made a 22 MINUTE VIDEO claiming that he didn't care. The irony was eventually too much for Brian to ignore, and he quickly removed both his videos like a bitch.



"I've never seen a living being that actually looks so much like a treasure troll." - TheAmazingAtheist

The video he deleted like a bitch after he realized how dumb he sounded.


YouTube Rage Quit[edit]

Goodnight sweet prince.

After being exposed for being a pedophile, intentionally doxing himself and ruining his future and current life Brian Deleted fucking everything. Brian has been known for deleting channels only to re open them or go to a new one down the line. This can happen either in a few days, weeks or sometimes even months. So him nuking his channel could most likely be temporary. Even if that is the case, it is pretty lulzy that this article has rustled his jimmies real good and has instilled so much paranoia into TheAmazingAtheist wannabe.

Return to YouTube[edit]

After a whopping 8 days, Brian made his return to YouTube. He restored some of his channel's deleted shit, which includes his Patreon, his support button, and 3 videos. Of the 3 videos he made public, 100% of them are total shit. He can only hope now that he will finally give up on his YouTube channel and finally be gone for good.

Brian's channel as of June 23rd 2015. Not pictured, blue support button for donations.

Ass Kissing[edit]

Just like Brian's friend Emery Bowman, Brian is a massive ass kisser. Starting off in 2013 when the shut-in teen found The_Ranting_Community which started the chain reaction of Brian giving figurative rim jobs to everyone in his sight. This started with him meeting TheTruthHurtsNetwork who had introduced him to everyone. Since no one gave a shit about David, they soon after gave Brian similar treatment which lead Brian making a retaliatory video "An Open Letter To The Ranting Community". The video in where Brian unravels his little list of complaints to the ranting community, some of these include: Them being morons, copying each others opinions and having shitty video quality. Since Brian struggles at understanding irony, soon enough there were people there to explain to him why he has no room to talk which lead him into deleting the video in a heart beat. Not long after this, Brian got into a feud with ChickenDoodleSauce. Brian and Doodle had different opinions to one another. Instead of agreeing to disagreeing like what most normal people do, Brian tells Doodle to kill himself and does a video "To ChickenDoodleSauce". Months had past and since Brian had been isolated from everyone in that group for long enough, Brian was thirsty to suck on some more cock and was destine to gain the approval of Anti-Feminists. Now this would be a tricky challenge due to half of them being ranters (NateTalksToYou, OfficialGATG, RanterInShades) so this would mean he would have to suck up to so many people. This took time but Brian had eventually wriggled himself into becoming accepted with Anti-Feminists. Everything was going well for Brian until he had enough of the Anti-Feminists and tossed them away. He was on his way to become a Feminist.




The Loony Bin[edit]

To add to Brian's misunderstood personality, in May 2014 he was sent to the looney bin after he had downed a bunch of pills in a Skype call. This was probably quite the shock for everyone, as this was the first time Brian had actually left his room for a long period of time. During the time that Brian was gone, Brian's girlfriend took control of his social life online. Constantly making updates about Brian's current situation, wallowing in pity and getting into arguments with his online friends. Eventually, Brian had returned to his palace and the first thing he considered doing was a video where he lies to everybody and tries to include some funny jokes in the mist of it which only his butt-buddies would ever laugh at (note the unclean hair which he probably had during his stay at the looney bin). Also, what a shock, Brian admitted he "exaggerated" this video.

Going a week without using the internet left Brian very traumatized, what ensued was self diagnosing himself with schizophrenia, pretending to hallucinate and convincing everyone that he was a...

"Cereal Killer"[edit]

Spreading bodies on the beach for his whale to see

With the lack of social interaction or basic care of hygiene, this will obviously lead into him finding ways to entertain himself. Aside from his sick sexual fantasies, Brian tried to convince all of his friend's that he was a cereal killer. This ranged from convincing everyone that he had murdered around 7 people (which later changed to 30) to confessing that he went around killing animals. Brian doesn't seem to realize how difficult it is to believe that the overweight teenager who walks with a cane is a serial killer in disguise but he was confident enough to share it with his friends. Interestingly enough, this attitude was strongly influenced by his ex-girlfriend when she had expressed romanticizing serial killers, since Brian was so eager to suck up to her, he managed to follow suit. He then came up with several murder stories which went from him killing since he was younger because of his admitted lack of social skills in a joking manner, to outright claiming this to people who he knew were gullible. This obviously left his friends pretty confused, especially when he became more open about this for seemingly no reason which eventually lead him into going mad with power and using this as a scare tactic to get people to be his friend and people who dislike him to beware or else he will kill you! His "friends" were mostly sceptical until one of them found out that his stories were inconsistent with Hinesville's crime record. So all of this was Brian pulling more than spoons out of his ass to get people to stop making fun of his prize whale. Brian likes to cover this up as a practical joke these days, claiming that it was all a social experiment and his friends seemed to believe him. Then again, it's not like it's difficult for Brian to trick his friends. If they were stupid enough to believe he was a cereal killer then it must be easy to do the polar opposite.

Be on the look out for the overweight Georgian.

Even though Brian has said that he is putting his threats in the past, he continues to make them to this day. This is due to him acting on his emotions whenever something goes wrong; classy examples being the numerous times he has threatened many of his former friends based on misinformation. Usually getting them on a Skype call so he can scream at the top of his lungs about how he is going to ruin their life. Unfortunately for Brian, the opposite tends to happen when more and more people hear about him making these threats. Sometimes in these calls, after screaming for so long, he will end up bursting into tears inflicting lulz on the rest of the people involved in the calls. These types of calls usually occur whenever someone he doesn't like makes fun of him or brings up his past. When realizing that nobody is threatened by an overweight dwarf, he usually backs down and leaves them alone, sometimes even begging that they don't hurt him. In one of these calls, as opposed to threatening others, he threatened himself. Threatening to cut his throat open with a boxcutter all because his mother suggested he starts to do some work. Not only that, but he forced his friends to harass his mother so he wouldn't have to do any work at home. A crowning example is when Brian threatened to end someone for posting a Skype call of Brian confessing that Harley was who he lost his virginity to, and even more, goes in detail about their fucking as if anyone was interesting in knowing (which includes how hard he fucked her and the anti-climax). After this call saw the light of day, he went around boasting about how he would end the person who he assumed uploaded the video, only to take back what he said when he knew he was full of shit and then went on to moan about how he hates everyone at the moment.

Brian Mueller's Chatlog With Danny Walsh
Brian Mueller
hi
im sorry about missing the hangout i was asleep
also sorry if i type weird i dont feel like doing punctuation or spelling or shit
Danny Walsh
2:49pm
Danny Walsh
It's cool
Brian Mueller
2:50pm
Brian Mueller
im having a bad day
mother shit
im sick of her so fucking much
its better than when i was young, but still, her fucking abusive bullshit goes too far for me to handle
Danny Walsh
2:51pm
Danny Walsh
Sorry man.
What did she do now?
Brian Mueller
2:51pm
Brian Mueller
same thing as always
Danny Walsh
2:51pm
Danny Walsh
Of course.
Brian Mueller
2:52pm
Brian Mueller
just hit me a few times and say im her biggest mistake and ruined her life and everything
Danny Walsh
2:52pm
Danny Walsh
7 more months and you're free
Brian Mueller
2:52pm
Brian Mueller
hey, better than when i was a kid
i still have nightmares about her hitting my hand with a hammer because i did something weird like talk too much
Danny Walsh
2:53pm
Danny Walsh
She actually did that, or is it just a fear?
Brian Mueller
2:53pm
Brian Mueller
thats why i cant paint anymore
physical marks go away, but my innerds are very fragile
Danny Walsh
2:54pm
Danny Walsh
Damn
Brian Mueller
2:54pm
Brian Mueller
oh, she also used to make me sleep outside because i was annoying her
Danny Walsh
2:55pm
Danny Walsh
What a bitch
Brian Mueller
2:55pm
Brian Mueller
she said i was no better than the dirt
actually, no, she said i wasnt even worthy of being dirt
but yeah, same difference
Danny Walsh
2:56pm
Danny Walsh
Damn.
Brian Mueller
2:56pm
Brian Mueller
sorry if im annoying or depressing you
im not trying to
Danny Walsh
2:56pm
Danny Walsh
You're not, man.
Brian Mueller
2:56pm
Brian Mueller
i just need to vent and cant speak because shes home
Danny Walsh
2:56pm
Danny Walsh
It's ok
Brian Mueller
2:56pm
Brian Mueller
no one else was ever there to see these things, by the way
my sister wasnt, she was the good girl, never had anything done to her
my father didnt know
her boyfriend doesnt know
and no matter what, she can deny it all
Danny Walsh
2:57pm
Danny Walsh
..
Brian Mueller
2:58pm
Brian Mueller
she fucking ruined my passion
i wanted to be a cartoonist
Danny Walsh
2:58pm
Danny Walsh
fuck
Brian Mueller
2:58pm
Brian Mueller
now i cant even follow that dream anymore
every time i move my finger i want to scream
i hide the pain, no one sees it normally
Danny Walsh
2:59pm
Danny Walsh
Really?
Brian Mueller
3:00pm
Brian Mueller
every time im in a call, i hold back so many fucking screams of pain and so many panic attacks and break downs
if it werent for you guys, i would be completely out of sanity
Danny Walsh
3:02pm
Danny Walsh
Thanks, man. But how have you dealt with this shit for so long?
Brian Mueller
3:02pm
Brian Mueller
going fucking crazy and telling no one
in the words of hopsin, "you don't know how many fucking demons i know"
Danny Walsh
3:03pm
Danny Walsh
Damn.
Brian Mueller
3:04pm
Brian Mueller
the visions are constant and im always afraid and she doesnt care
not only does she not care, she fucking feeds them on
she tries to get me to break down
ill be honest, i have the same phobia of people eating that harley does because my mom kinda made my watch her eat and kept food from me. i just dont say any of this or the why or anything and i try to not bring it up
Danny Walsh
3:07pm
Danny Walsh
Man, that sucks.
Brian Mueller
3:07pm
Brian Mueller
i literally hold back vomitting so hard
Danny Walsh
3:08pm
Danny Walsh
I'm sorry that I've eaten in calls, Brian.
Brian Mueller
3:08pm
Brian Mueller
its not even the food, its the chewing
i cant handle that sound even when i make it
and its not your fault
you didnt know about me and you forgot about harleys stuff which is understandable and fine
dont think im blaming you for anything
Danny Walsh
3:10pm
Danny Walsh
Thanks.
Brian Mueller
3:11pm
Brian Mueller
i really hope im not bothering you
Danny Walsh
3:12pm
Danny Walsh
You're not. I'm sorry that I don't have much to say, though, but if you need someone, I'm here to listen/.
Brian Mueller
3:13pm
Brian Mueller
thank you so much
Danny Walsh
3:13pm
Danny Walsh
It's the Golden rule, man.
Brian Mueller
3:13pm
Brian Mueller
i never got people who listened until i came online and started meeting people like you and harley
Danny Walsh
3:14pm
Danny Walsh
Neither have I, for the most part, either.
Brian Mueller
3:14pm
Brian Mueller
everyone...
they just kind of beat me
and bullied me
and honestly, when you say you get jumped a lot, ive been there
i lost all emotion when i was fourteen, didnt get it back until 16
i faked it for two years
ive been through some of the worst shit that someone can be through and it fucked me up
and thats all i can really say
Danny Walsh
3:18pm
Danny Walsh
Hmm
Brian Mueller
3:18pm
Brian Mueller
like serial killer level fucked up
Danny Walsh
3:20pm
Danny Walsh
damn
Brian Mueller
3:20pm
Brian Mueller
i dont want to go too far into it
lets just say a lot of people (tens) are dead now because of me and i havent gotten caught
please dont think anything of me, its complicated
Danny Walsh
3:21pm
Danny Walsh
I know about Charles, but there are others?
Brian Mueller
3:22pm
Brian Mueller
about 30 more after that...
i think
i might have lost count
they were people who bullied me
Danny Walsh
3:22pm
Danny Walsh
damn
Brian Mueller
3:22pm
Brian Mueller
i see shit
hear shit
think things
im told im probably schizo, but i dont want to say
its basically constant
the highest iq test result i ever got was (i believe) something like 253
Danny Walsh
3:24pm
Danny Walsh
fuck
Brian Mueller
3:24pm
Brian Mueller
they tell me things
make me think things
about myself
sometimes im other people
i dont know if theres something that physically happened, but i was hit my head hard and a lot as a kid
Danny Walsh
3:25pm
Danny Walsh
I think that is schizophrenia.
Brian Mueller
3:25pm
Brian Mueller
i still remember being beaten
all of the beatings
they were horrible
its the worst thing ive ever had to deal with
Danny Walsh
3:26pm
Danny Walsh
damn
Brian Mueller
3:27pm
Brian Mueller
my thought process
the way i think
its like a billion ideas, concepts, words, and everything a second
i dont get headaches, i just have one constant headache ive had since childhood that ranges in pain
Danny Walsh
3:28pm
Danny Walsh
woah
Brian Mueller
3:28pm
Brian Mueller
its a completely different world from most people
if im smart, thats why
i dont really look into much
i just kinda know most things
scientific facts, even
i just kinda know them
i reasoned it all out before i heard it
Danny Walsh
3:31pm
Danny Walsh
wow man
Brian Mueller
3:31pm
Brian Mueller
i basically worked out black holes in my head
after that, did some fact checking, i was right
this was age 12
Danny Walsh
3:32pm
Danny Walsh
damn, man
Brian Mueller
3:33pm
Brian Mueller
one time
i thought i was dead
in purgatory
and that murdering would gain me a soul
Danny Walsh
3:34pm
Danny Walsh
what?
Brian Mueller
3:34pm
Brian Mueller
im not even joking
this was when i was 7
from ages 8-13, i thought i was The Joker, playing a character
ages 14-16, I was emotionally dead, unable to feel anything
Danny Walsh
3:35pm
Danny Walsh
damn
Brian Mueller
3:35pm
Brian Mueller
delusions, hallucinations, hearing voices, all of it was there
Danny Walsh
3:37pm
Danny Walsh
well fuck man
Brian Mueller
3:38pm
Brian Mueller
its only VERY recently, since meeting all of you that i've gotten even remotely close to sanity
Danny Walsh
3:38pm
Danny Walsh
..
Brian Mueller
3:39pm
Brian Mueller
and i didnt say these things before
i didnt want to scare anyone
Danny Walsh
3:39pm
Danny Walsh
You're not, Brian. Well to me, at least.
Brian Mueller
3:40pm
Brian Mueller
good im sorry i just get scared
im afraid youll all go away
im most scared about certain people
harley, you, michael scheonfeld, lachlan, brandon smith
the ones i just named
you guys are my only link to reality
Danny Walsh
3:43pm
Danny Walsh
Well if anybody would leave you for this shit, then they really weren't good friends, to begin with./
Brian Mueller
3:43pm
Brian Mueller
i know its just scary
im not used to friends
or having people


DeviantArt[edit]

Not only is Brian a failure on YouTube, but a failure on DeviantArt as well. Most of what he posts are photos of himself or things near his house, along with some stupid filter applied to them. Aside from that, Brian also likes to display his lack of skill in Photoshop. Yet Brian still thinks he has room to judge people's banners and thumbnails.

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Works of Autism[edit]

Bow down to moon man.

Adding onto Brian's way of thinking and mental age of every edgy teenager, one of Brian's many failed endeavors was making poetry. Though these attempts have been shot down by everybody confronted with such shit, for a long time Brian has tried to make this dream come true. Some of this poetry has spawned due to his interest in philosophy, and much like every other edgy teenager, Brian doesn't understand jack shit anything these philosophers are saying. Making him an even bigger lulzcow, when he does try, all he can to convince what few friends he has that he's smart and knows lots of really deep meanings. He goes on lengthy talks about how deep these people are, but the moment you ask him to explain any of it he will do anything in his power to avoid having to do that. Including "you wont understand even if I did explain it" and "why bother" as his most used excuses to avoid articulating a reason for liking these people. None of this affects his poetry, though, as he will make lots of poetry as a way to prove how intelligent he really is to his internet friends; or at least the ones that stick by him after word spread that he was a pedophile. He tries to explain how his poetry has lots of profound meaning to it, but much like the philosophers he likes to brag about reading, he also can't seem to specify the deep meanings in his poetry- meaning there is none. Adding to this specious bravado is him claiming how his photographs of street signs and indoor objects have a lot of deep symbolism that his Facebook friends are not smart enough to understand. To further punctuate how stupid all of this shit is, half of the photos that aren't of stuff near his house are just selfies of him (sometimes with a filter added to them). He says these photos are suppose to symbolize a transition of time. So even when Brian knows how to explain his "deep meanings" they come across as stuff he has made up at the top of his head to make himself sound smarter than all of us know he actually is. Practically speaking, not a single person outside of his small group of friends would want to see photographs of his filthy room and his neighborhood just because he a filter to the photos. Being the brainless fuck that he is, though, this will be something Brian will never come to understand, or maybe not and that's the reason he has his depressive episodes...

Feminism[edit]

Despite a lack of exercise, Brian can effectively move 180 degrees in his opinions.
Don't criticize me, or else you'll get the banhammer.
Ableist language.png
Brian defending a shitty Laci Green video.
It's no surprise that after TheAmazingAtheist kicked Brian to the curb he'd do a complete 180 in his opinions and become a Feminist out of spite. Instead of liking TheAmazingAtheist, he now likes Coughlan, Laci_Green and Feministfrequency and will take the opposite opinion on anything even if it does lead into him looking like a moron. It's no surprise that he would eventually like these people down the line, as all of them have had a drawn out history of being crybabies and bad role models. Brian has argued that if you aren't a Feminist then you're an idiot by proxy and that there is no such thing as a bad Feminist and going on long winded tangents on people who don't fit his standards and acting as if he's in any room to talk about being a bad person. Despite him having a long history of making controversial jokes and still enjoying them to this day, Brian has became so opposed to the jokes being used online. This has made him find anyone who makes rape jokes, racist jokes and anything mildly offensive to be unfunny and that the person making the joke is bad, this can be found out by YouTube Favicon.png watching some of his pro Feminism videos. Not only is he a Feminist but last Thursday he recently became an Anarchist, it wont be a surprise to anyone when Brian gets out of this phase and eventually deletes all of his pro-Anarchism, pro-Feminism videos finding a new phase to hop into when everyone kicks him to the curb.
I'm not pro censorship - BLOCKED!
Razorath Disproves Being A Feminazi.png

If there's one thing Brian doesn't like being called it's a Feminazi or a Radical Feminist. If you accuse him of being either of the two he will get very defensive and most likely call you an idiot and "disprove" it in a huge wall of text. Though Brian likes to say he isn't a Radical Feminist he sure does have a lot of the opinions of one. In fact his reasons as to not being a Feminazi is that he is not pro-Censorship but despite this Brian has recently disabled comments on his videos because he "doesn't like reading the comments". What makes this hypocrisy even funnier is the fact he has a Vine up which says "If you don't like seeing comments just don't read them!". Another hypocrisy is how he refuses is let people criticize his opinion on other people and will block people for criticizing him. Brian's even going as far as to be a Radical Feminist apologist. He says what makes them better than MRAs is that he can understand where they are coming from.

Without taking his consistent need to say how him becoming a Feminist or Anarchist isn't a phase, in pursuit of filling everyone's expectations Brian eventually restored back to how he normally was taking back the label of both. He tried to make sense of this by saying that he wasn't sure about either nor was he that interested in politics. Something Brian didn't even have to make clear given how this was common knowledge to anyone who has seen his long winded statuses against the Government. For whatever strange reason though he still continues to sympathize with the arguments brought up by both groups due to their ideas being parallel. Brian has yet to figure out that by removing the labels off himself doesn't mean shit if he's going to carry on thinking like this. A strong speculation is that he has had enough of his "friends" harassing him for the labels he wishes to settle on which is exactly why he has taken back the opinions. Seeing that saying any movie with indefinite correlations with Anarchism and/or Feminism makes them propaganda movies in support of his movement is only going to make him look like a conspiracy nut the more he goes on about it. But at the end of the day the damage is done and with the reputation Brian is at it's not going to be repair over a petty label. Especially with the hearsay of him making friends who are apart of both movements, friends which go so far with their ideas that they don't affiliate themselves with anyone who isn't apart of said movements. When all is said and done this is another desperate attempt at damage control for him to regain friendships when (if anything) it's only going to make him lose more than he's already lost.

Pedophile[edit]

Much like his idol, Brian is a sick fuck. Apart from just getting naked in Skype calls (even when he was still under legal age) he is known for sending his dick to random people through various means. His fetishes include but are not limited to: fart porn, self mutilation, shoving shit up his ass, and pedophilia.

Some of Brian's failed attempts to hide his pedophilia.
Brian in 20 years (if he lives that long)


Denail of being a pedophile[edit]

Brian has tried several times in very lulzy fashions to make sure people know that he totally isn't a pedophile. This ranges from stories about how the screencaps were photoshopped and/or inspect elemented, this was later proven false by the person who had took the screenshots in a Skype call with Brian's "friends". In his second lulzy attempt to save face, he told a "friend" that he was just trying to shock people an excuse Brian has been known to use before , seeing how this "friend" didn't believe a word he said he supplied some screencaps of the conversation. Given how no one believes these stories they can quickly be proven wrong this forces Brian to change his story at the drop of a hat in order to keep whatever little dignity he has left at this point.

Brian supplying us with more material.
wBrian takes it to Vine to cover up his sick desires.
KEEP THIS MAN AWAY FROM YOUR CHILDREN.
Brian dispels pedophile rumor.
I wonder what this is about.
Another one of Brian's attempts to deny his pedophilia.
So wanting to fuck kids is your greatest asset?

Playing The Victim[edit]

My life is over guys!

Much like other Feminists Brian likes to take this as a perfect opportunity to play the victim. Knowing that he's unable to lie about being a pedophile and be taken seriously this has made Brian very upset. While messaging somebody he talks about how he's feeling very depressed because everybody that hates him has ruined his life by "making lies up about him". Brian doesn't seem to realize that he's done this to himself and that he should probably man up and take personal responsibility for his fuck up but he has also did this to many other people online for more trivial reasons (even sending somebody's address to their rapist out of spite) making his sudden objection for this type of stuff seem more out of selfishness. Which would be accord to how he already thinks so that would make sense.

I'm Really Not A Pedophile[edit]

Having a solid case about being a pedophile can be very difficult to cope with. As a result Brian has decided to change the story another time. This time it's not because the photos were faked or how he was saying it for shock value. This time it's that he's not and it doesn't matter. Knowing that he has no convincing argument on his side he has instead resorted to telling people to believe him coz reasons. Whenever anyone has came to him asking him what has happened he will just say "I'm not a pedophile" in different variations while responding to what they had said in under five words. This is to give the impression that he really doesn't care. Instead it comes off like he does care since he is very defensive over being called a pedophile. When most people are falsely accused of something they will usually brush it off or defend themselves and give evidence that isn't easily dismissed at the snap of a finger (or try to delete it from their ED page). Rather than doing that Brian does exactly that only then to say how it doesn't matter why he sent the messages because he isn't a pedophile and also please believe me!.

Lulz and butthurt on tumblr About missing Pics
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{{{5}}}

Comments Disabled[edit]

Brian doesn't care about your mean words, srsly.

Even though Brian says he doesn't care with him recently disabling his comments and going on a blocking spree it is becoming more obvious that he does care and that he's to afraid to admit it. This is because many people have been telling him off for wanting to fuck children and since Brian totally isn't a pedophile he has chose to disable his comments altogether to prevent anyone slandering him. When criticized for doing this he will get very defensive and insult the person asking. Alternatively Brian will simply say that online discussion is stupid. This is the same person who's only way of talking to people is the internet. We here at ED assume that this is another instance of Brian changing an opinion for his own convenience since beforehand he told people that if they don't like dealing with comments that they shouldn't look at the comments. It's going to be no surprise for no one when Brian changes this opinion and reverts back when he is done with everyone hating him when he pleads for their forgiveness very soon.

Masturbating In Skype Calls[edit]

Yes, he jerked off in a call with this kid.

Edgy teens will do anything to try to be offensive or "funny" however one thing that usually no one does is getting naked in calls. Not only did he take it as far as getting nude in calls, but he's taken it further by masturbating in skype calls. If you need an excuse to never get in a call with Brian, this is it. This went generally unnoticed for a year and a half until he was in a call with a child named HorrorKid where he was fapping. This means he was in a call with someone who he thought was only 12 at the time and fapped while listening to him talk. This further proves his pedophilia, yet still he will continue to deny it until the day he dies

SERIOUSLY NEVER
NEVER SKYPE WITH THIS MAN
Just in case Brian denies it. Try to deny it now.

"I'm Simply In The Right"[edit]

Brian trying to objectify his opinion.

This is something that hasn't come out of the blue for most people who really know Brian. His arrogance has been on going ever since he has started the internet, especially The Ranting Community. A great deal of Brian's old videos have him using objectivity as a way to prove he is right. Sometimes even feeling threatened when people criticize his ideas. Our best guess is as good as yours but one strong speculation is that puberty hasn't fully completed for him leaving his mood swings and stability all over the place. All of this petty bullshit that Brian persists makes him look like an even bigger idiot two years ago but the fact he has shown zero maturity and the fact he continues to act objectively right in situations shows him taking his opinions back are meaningless. Sometimes this would be for musicians, movies, people he likes/dislikes ect. and it drove most of his friends up the wall in anger some even confused that when confronted with a differing opinion Brian will act like a baby saying how "You're fucking wrong" and how he is "Simply in the right". To make this bullshit sound more convincing to his friends he usually steps it up by using big words so they think he's smart. Next he's going to tell then that gullible is written on the ceiling.

Ex-Whale[edit]

Brian's prize pig.
We all know how this wound up.

In early 2014, during a Google hangout, Brian met a whale who called herself Harley. Brian thought she was the most beautiful whale he ever saw, so he thought "If you like it then you should put a ring on it." He also saw this as an opportunity to finally get his dick wet. It wasn't long before they were engaged, and then Brian did the impossible and got the whale knocked up with 4 children. However, they all died before birth because the whale accidentally digested them. Then the whale swam away and fucked TheAmazingAtheist because he had more girth than Brian. On a side note, his girlfriend was 20 and Brian was 17 at the time. This means his girlfriend molested him. Since she left Brian, he had his heart broken because she cheated on him, leading him to call her a bitch and sending her dad (who, keep in mind raped her) all of her personal information, this also included her current home address. Despite this however, she has decided to become friends with this fat fuck again.

REUPLOAD

Brian's Reaction To This Article[edit]

When The Ranting Community was going crazy about their ED article, Brian was completely apathetic to the situation.[4] However, when the tables are turned, Brian goes full moralfag and his insecurities begin to show.

Razorath ED Reaction.jpg
Gallery of Butthurt About missing Pics
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Life's Good When You Have No Friends[edit]

When you look like this, you shouldn't expect to have friends

Brian has admitted several times that he has no friends. Most sane people wouldn't admit to this, especially on the internet, but once you've been admitted to the looney bin several times (or so he says) you wouldn't be very sane then. He has admitted to trying to make friends at the local mall, the park, parking lots, and even at one point saying he tried to make friends by hanging around a playground. The reason he has no friends is almost entirely because he fucking dropped out and losing touch with everyone that had somewhat of care for him. However, he gained several internet friends after becoming involved in the ranting community. Everything seemed well until people discovered his pedophilia. Nowadays, Brian has found himself in the same situation he was in just two years ago, he is lonely and friendless except now, his life is practically over after his pedophilia was exposed.


Lies[edit]

Razorath's favourite drink.

Since Brian is a total retard, he has been known to tell outright lies to people. His lies range from small lies about things people had said about him to his story of being abducted by aliens. Here's a list of many of Brian's lies:

  • Brian told everyone from mid 2013 until last Thursday that he dropped out of highschool, to avoid looking fucking retarded, Brian changed his story, telling everyone he was kicked out because he has severe back problems
  • He claims he was abducted by aliens when he was seven. Seven later changed to ten and then that changed to it being "a shock story"
  • He once, apparently, punched a concrete wall so hard he got his hand stuck in it
  • At one point, he claimed to have raped a cat then slit its throat
  • He shot and killed three people when he was eleven
  • He stopped drinking Mountain Dew in late 2013.This picture proves otherwise.
  • He suffocated a friend of his with a trashbag then threw his body in a lake. Upon retelling this story months later he said he stabbed him with a machete then stuffing his corpse in a dumpster.
  • He never liked Marilyn Manson, yet all throughout 2013/14 he told everyone how deep and intelligent he is.
  • He told everyone he was 5'7" tall yet he later on stated he was a mere 5'2" tall
  • He currently has a girlfriend.
  • He lifted a two ton car with his bare hands when he was 12.
  • He dropped out because he was learning about diet coke, while this may or may not be a lie, but we here at ED believe Brian dropped out as an act of teenage rebellion
  • His ex girlfriend raped him when he was sleeping and abused him.
  • He claims he had sex with so many people. No one believed him but what made this even better was Brian admitting himself he made it up.
  • His mother locked him outside, ate food in front of him to spite him, poured insects on him ect.
  • Claims it's easy for people like him to get laid.
  • He inserted a chainsaw in someone's ass.
  • Takes credit for making Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life (not something to take pride in anyways)
  • In addition to that last one, Brian mentioned that he had murdered someone dressed as Shrek.
  • Regularly denies beating his girlfriend and his mom despite being in google hangouts and skype calls where he's quite clearly beating them. There are even accusations that he has beat his sister in the past.
  • He apparently does not and will not ever care about what people say about him. His reaction to this article, his response to TheAmazingAtheist and his denial and censorship of his pedophilia disprove this.
  • Says his dick is 7 inches long
  • Almost everything in The Loopty Loop Parlor was a lie
  • He lifted his dad in the air and threw him into a wall.
  • ZOMG NO I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE!!!!111!!!1!!11!
  • States he lost weight by by eating literally nothing for two whole months
  • He allegedly stayed awake for 6 months straight without sleeping
  • Stuck his hand in a garbage disposal and it didn't hurt.
  • He got shot by a crip.
  • He punched a tornado
  • He ran over a shark in a boat after it ripped off his foot then he got his foot reattached in a surgery where he "almost died"
  • Says his mom raped him with knives
  • He allegedly crushed bricks with his bare hands
  • Says he has friends
  • He apparently hates Eminem despite him liking him on Facebook and at one point, had EminemVEVO in his favorite channels list.
  • Says it's awful to say the word nigger yet he says it fucking constantly
  • he says he's smart

How Brian Mueller and Brett Keane Are The Same[edit]

Brian Mueller and Brett Keane.jpg

Brett Keane is a white trash pathological liar known for his schemes and censorship. While Brian may not like to admit it, he and Brett have many things in common. They both:

  • Are fat and ugly
  • Have horrendous facial hair
  • Have a long and greasy haircut
  • Are unemployed
  • both attempt to be badasses
  • Spend most of their day sitting on their asses
  • Use illnesses as an excuse for their lazy lifestyle
  • Have/had a fugly wife/girlfriend
  • Fail at poetry
  • Are obviously rednecks
  • Have a massive ego
  • Have a giant sloping forehead
  • Flip/flop their views when convenient
  • Only admit to their mistakes when convenient
  • Live in a white trash dump
  • Have a slow, droning way of speaking
  • Have a long record of failed projects
  • Beg their subscribers for money
  • Record their videos in a dimly lit room
  • Have closed/had their channels terminated multiple times
  • Constantly delete old videos
  • Try to censor people who expose them
  • Want to be celebrities, but never will
  • Make numerous empty promises to their subscribers
  • Have/had a shitty, unwarranted website
  • Love to start drama
  • Love to play victim
  • Have no friends in real life
  • Call other people losers without looking in the mirror
  • Have been owned by TheAmazingAtheist
  • Have beat their girlfriend/wife
  • Are both fundamentalist Christians and won't admit it
  • Have both accused a family member of abusing them

Brian's Inevitable Future[edit]

On a final note on how Brian may end up in say, 20 years or so, Brian often proudly wears his mother's makeup. This can only mean one other possibility besides turning into an old hairy man with painted on giant nipples while dancing around in a thong...

The resemblance is uncanny

More[edit]

Nice teeth. HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU NEED TO WARN PEOPLE
Brian's mom.
Hello ladies.

BrianIs2Deep4U.png

In addition to many other fails Brian dyed his hair black but since he's retarded, he didn't know you had to re-dye it every couple of months or it loses its color
Due to years of poor hygiene, Brian has begun to lose teeth and his hair is beginning to thin along with his skin becoming a shade of yellow. Fun fact: that shade of yellow is most likely from cigarette smoke caking his body.
REPLOAD OF BRIAN HITTING HIMSELF IN THE NUTS

External Links[edit]

See Also[edit]


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03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAdam WanAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlex HirschAtheistsAlex JonesAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmericanDad86Amy SchumerAngry Homo KidAngry JoeAniMatAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAndrei ThomasAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAnthony ToneyAntony AguilarAnytownfagApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Ariana GrandeArin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBlood on the Dance FloorBlueCatRioluBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBrokeNCYDEBroniesBrucesnoopButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChibiyimaChi-Chan24Chris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCloudyEggsCNNCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDani_WillowDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDaron NefcyDave ChapelleDave Mustaine David CleggDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDLAbaoaquDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Doopie DoOverDoopie DoOver/PeopleDorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakondrp1zzaDustinEdray1416EmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErik "Tazman" MokracekExoParadigmGamerFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777Hozupindahows00sI Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyInSaNe-REYNARDJames HolmesJamil The KingJennifer BaquingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJinuSenpaiJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJoeysworldtourJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276JoshU2uberJoshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinandDennisJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Karamatsugirllover92Kat DenningsKathleen ToddKendall JennerKenny GlennKero The WolfKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKittenBellNSFWKothorixKphoriaKrashedKurt EichenbaldLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Les SixLeslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLowti3rgodLucian HodobocM. ChaosMajira StrawberryA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatrooko11Matthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeganSpeaksMeowbarkMeta527IIMichael BattonMichael BayMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandymindoutofsyncMiss ScarlettMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMSNBCMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nascar221Natalie PortmanNathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNihilistic SnakeNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlParkourdude91Paul FeigPaulie CalafiorePeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelProfessor KuhtoonsQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRebecca SugarRebelTaxiRicki RavenRina-ChanRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ross LumbusSad FrogSam HydeSam PepperSammyClassicSonicFanSarah ButtsSarah SilvermanSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSega KidSegacampSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSolidMarioSonmanicSonofOdin29Sons of KojimaSony-MaeSONYFANBOYSophie LabelleSoulja BoySpax3SpiderfanStephen SampleSteven PruittStormySuperlisamcbSuperMarioLoganSuper Planet DolanSusan BoyleSusan J. ElliottTara StrongTempleOSThatKidDouglasTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagThe rEactorTheSockDetectiveTimboxTim BuckleyTJ LaneTMossBossToby J RathjenTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTranime GirlTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeUwe BollVadeVinceintheBayVideo game reviewersViolette1stWade FulpWeatherManKevinWeegeeisgoingtokillmWesley!!!WingsofRedemptionWinona RyderWoWfan4lifeWwwareaYoshiwii1YandereDevYouyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleAtheismBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinity Furry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNarutoNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPAW PatrolPlastic CrapPlenty of FishPolandballPunk rock/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSkaSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV TropesUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyVidLiiVirginityVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube