|LOL, the police are tired of constantly arresting this jackass for doing stupid shit and raping children in his van. Plz search for lulz on his growing jail record.|
|Born||January 17, 1997|
Jake Joseph Paul✡ is a
twenty ten year old pedophilic alpha chad kike actor and JewTuber that rose to internet fame on the now-dead video application Vine. Paul is known for playing the retarded role of Dirk on the Disney Channel series Bizaardvark. So imagine a stereotypical dumbass jock who fucks all the bitches and tries to be a bootleg version of Eminem while 12 year old girls chase after him. He also asskisses his brother Logan Paul in attempt to ride on his current fame and without him he would have been a deadbeat jackass. He's also a terrible vlogger and prankster, in which in his small IQ of his means that he can do whatever the fuck he wants in Hollywood without being put into jail because you know that he's gonna bail himself out in 5 minutes with his constant monopoly bucks. There is absolutely nothing relevant, important, different or notable about him. He is a carbon copy of the other gorillions of chad youtubers out there. There is completely no reason to give him any attention whatsoever as he doesn't even qualify as a lulcow for his current actions or deeds. However for informational purposes we must record every stupid thing he has ever done because of curious fucktards who happened to search his name up on the ED search engine for the lulz.
- 1 Team 10
- 2 His Shitty Career
- 3 Fuck Da Police
- 4 His Prank Videos
- 5 His Diss Tracks
- 6 Disney Channel
- 7 Jake Paulers
- 8 Current Meme Catchphrases
- 9 External links
It's Everyday Bro!
- Jake Paul: Main character and fuckboy of them all. Leader and founder of the Team 10 crew; he'll remain a part of Team 10 for It's Everyday Bro!. The only man baby who has to be taken care of by his homies and parents. Gets the most bitches and sex due to his friends having contacts with many different girls (usually their sisters, but who's counting).
Team 10 Class of 2017
Martinez Twins(GONE): Autistic 1 and autistic 2. Two dirty Mexican orphans who would've gotten deported if Jake Paul haven't swooped in and save their asses with cash and clothing. They get to have constant threesomes with Jake's leftover women and are most of the time his sidekicks when it comes to making prank videos outside of his house.
- The Spic Twins left in 2018 because they felt Jake Paul was bullying them for not taking the time to understand Spanish. Jake denies this, claiming "burrito", "taco", and "chango el toileto papero" was more than enough Spanish for him to need to know, and so he blamed their new manager for causing the rift.
Tessa Brooks(GONE): There's literally nothing interesting about this bitch except for "bla bla bla I'm Tessa Brooks". Always tries to announce her name to the world even though most people don't even know who the fuck she is, much less care. She's also Jake's 10th girlfriend and soon to be ex. Jake always tries to force her into some of his recent videos and she gets easily offended if someone mocks her in any way, shape, or form.
- Tessa left on the very first day of 2018. Apparently her new year's resolution was "you're too good to suck on Jake Paul's cock"... because that's what it boiled down to: she didn't want to move into the Team 10 house, and Jake took that as a slight. I guess having to wait for her to drive crosstown to diddle his dong just wasn't "Everyday Bro" enough for him.
Chance Sutton(GONE): A fuckboy Jake Paul wannabe, he used to work at KFC before Jake Paul inspired him to asskiss him for the fame and fortune. He's also another person that nobody gives a shit about and is often left as a background character in Jake's music videos. Nick Crompton(GONE): Son of Mary Poppins, this fake-ass brit flew across the ocean just to move in and hang out with the Paulers. He dropped out of 1st grade due to the fact that he couldn't point out where the country of England is and instead calls it a city. He also likes to eat chicken made by Sutton during his KFC days and rarely burns enough fat since he is a fatass and a sucker for ripped clothing.
- Nick left in May of 2018 because, despite being the Chief Operations Officer at Team 10. Apparently no one even realized "Chief Operations Officer" was even a thing, and so no one actually did anything he told them to do. Then Jake Paul's dad decided that he would start running things (y'know, because he's an actual adult), and so he felt like a 11th wheel. Nick later moved back to his hometown of England.
Tristan Tales(GONE): also left on New Years Day 2018.
Alissa Violet(GONE): evidently, her and Jake Paul were dating, but the relationship was a sham. And so obviously Jake had assaulted her while they were dating.
Max Beaumont(GONE): left in order to be able to be truthful about what happened between Jake and some FaZe Clan gamer named Ricky Banks, where Jake was spouting bullshit about what happened. Some argue that remaining on Team 10 requires members to suck Jake's dick 24/7, which meant that Max was unable to tell the truth about what happened while Jake's cock is lodged down his throat.
Alex Lange(GONE): left in order to pursue an acting career. He's truly off to a good start: he did an excellent job convincing audiences that he gave a fuck about "Team 10".
Dobre Twins(GONE): left to go wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-all the way home. Y'know, because they were totally homesick. Not sick of Jake Paul, no no no no. Never.
AJ Mitchel(GONE): Left to advance his career further, because remaining on Team 10 never would have done jack shit in that department.
Team 10, Class of 2019
Jake Paul, realizing that you need more than one person to be considered a "team", hired a bunch of new social media
stooges stars to be part of the new "Team 10"! They include such amazing people as:
- Travis and Corey Talbott
- their kids Tydus and Ryatt
- Brandon Amato
- Lauren Dascalo
- Cole Carrigan
- the Caci Twins
This is truly a great collection of YouTube stars who'll definitely keep Team 10 a team for at least 12 whole weeks! Well, maybe longer if Jake Paul can convince them to sign contracts agreeing to be his best friend for at least two calendar years, with an option to be his best friend for an additional year if necessary. Now who in their right minds would turn THAT down?!
—J-14 Magazine, basically explaining that membership to "Team 10" is looser than Jake Paul's butthole. And that Jake Paul gets butthurt super easily.
His Shitty Career
Paul began his cancerous career in September, 2013 simply by posting 7 second videos of him flexing on Vine. Following in his brother's footsteps like a brainless puppy, by the time Vine took a hit and committed suicide, Jake Paul had over 5.3 million fantards and 2 billion plays on the app.
In 2015, it was announced that Jake would be starring as Dirk in Disney Channel's new comedy series Bizaardvark considering that he needs more little girls to satisfy his large ego.
There's really nothing much else to say about his Career other than he strangely keeps getting more swooning fans and money for basically doing stupid and immature shit that people normally couldn't do in the real world.
Fuck Da Police
Like all pranksters who are retarded imbeciles, Jake Pauler here gets constanstly fucked up by not only the police, but even the government at times for evading privacy, trespassing property, stealing valuable items from celebrities, and so much more. What's even more surprising is that he always gets away with it by throwing bail money at them and repeats his mistakes over and over again for them views, copying the "ITS JUST A PRANK BRUH!1!!" excuse from our favorite daddy DaddyOFive.
On January 5, 2017, Paul was suddenly invited at the White House centering on social media by our former black president Barack Obama. As a stunt/prank for his YouTube vlog channel, he hid in one of their giant golden plated bathrooms before sneaking out of the White House at 3:30am in the morning without being confronted by security or their vicious guard dogs. Because if they even touch him they're gonna get mauled and sued by hoards of his fangirls. He also constantly vlogs dangerous interactions with the secret service with a clickbaity title even though it's supposed to be a private arrest.
Jake Paul on The News
Eventually when his fame exploded, a news team in Hollywood decided to investigate disturbances in a nearby Neighborhood where Jake Paul and his cucky crew were hanging out. From riding big trucks to getting hot bitches in bikinis, these guys were not only pissing off the neighbors, but badly influencing teenage girls and scaring little children into drinking bleach and partying all night like college students in a frat house. What you'll see in the video below is the very definition of Jake Paul and what he does everyday, even dabbing on camera and using old memes that nobody gives any shits about to insult the news reporter.
His Prank Videos
His prank videos are not only shitty but are unoriginal and mostly surrounded at the fact that he wants to get constant revenge on his brother Logan. From stealing/making out with his girlfriends to destroying each others belongings. Like I said before, this is the proper way to earn Jewtube cash and to make your parents proud of you for what you are becoming. Also at the first days of 2018 his brother Logan trolled a suicide victim by filming him and joked around. Because of that notorious Wikipedo™ man-baby Calton Bolick says he want to swat him. Nice try little kid!
His Diss Tracks
Of course with great power comes great music videos right? Like any other singing celebrity, Jake Paul wanted to be like a Justin Beaver to get more fans on his dick and so he created poorly based rap music only to diss out his brother to see who is the best Pauler. He is the perfect example of why white people can't rap and is dishonoring the Rap God himself Eminem, shaming him to death. And so on the cancerous day of May 30, 2017, Paul released another song and music video alongside his whiteboys Team 10, titled "It's Everyday Bro", which achieved over 70 million views on JewTube in its first month and has become the seventh most disliked video on YouTube. (With currently 1 million likes and dislikes due to Team 10 fangirls vs common sense) The song also peaked at number 94 on the Billboard's Hot 100 on the chart dated June 24, 2017. Causing ears to bleed and black men cringing with difficulty as other Jewtubers react to his retarded-ness humorously. The song even became a meme and caused parodies to be written and laughed at. BUT HE STILL GOT PAYED ANYWAY~
On July 22, 2017, Paul tweeted out that he would be ditching his contract with the Disney Channel and his show Bizaardvark during the middle of filming the second season because he's a jackass. He also left some actors unemployed since without the main star in the show there is no show. And Disney said they "mutually agreed" to part ways in a statement because they don't want a bad influenced punk in their studio. Paul also stated that he wanted to focus on the growth of his personal brand Team 10 as a reason to split. So basically he Buzzfeeded Disney Channel to create another god damn video about it.
Little children and teenagers in which Jake Paul have raped. That's all we need to know.
Current Meme Catchphrases
IT'S EVERYDAY BRO
England is My City
Since the writers of the song are bootyhungry chadtubers, they never checked or revised the lyrics at all, hence the lyric "England Is My City" to be born by Nick Poppins himself.
- Team 10 (IQ)'s Official Website
- Jake's YouTube Channel
- Jake's Twitter Account
- Jake's Instagram Account
Jake Paul is part of a series on
Jake Paul is part of a series on YouTube.