Wise Beard Man

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This article is part of a series of articles on Scientology and as such, may expose you to confidential materials on subjects such as R-6, Incident 1, Xenu and Body Thetans. If you do not feel like losing your position on the bridge to total freedom, we advise you turn back now. Additionally did you know that all Scientology courses are freely available on the internet WITHOUT being regged??

The only LOGICAL choice.

Mark Bunker (aka "Wise Beard Man", but affectionately called "Beardfag" by some) is a fat guy who recently came to the attention of Anonymous as something of an ally and reliable adviser in the war on Scientology. He rejoined YouTube in early 2008 after his original account was, not surprisingly, removed due to a copyright infringement claim by the Church of Scientology and he spent a week uploading his XenuTV videos; some were of him being assaulted by Scientologists and others were of him putting the Scifags in intellectual checkmate. He works in television which sources tell us was some sort of primitive communication device used before Al Gore invented the internet. He sells DVDs of his exposés about Scientology to raise money for a full length documentary to expose the cult. Also, he has cats that live off the mysterious holy sustenance provided by his beard.

Wise Beard Man Bestows His Bearded Wisdom[edit]

Wisebeard was the first time this forced meme was ever funny.
His words are Jew, His face is Hitler.

Subsequent to the initial raids on Scifag.com, Wise Beard Man gained E-fame in a JewTube video he made directly addressing Anonymous. In the now famous video he stated he was glad to have so many people willing to take up the Anti-CoS cause, but at the same time he was critical of some of Anon's methods, and he suggested Anon only utilize legal means, as he does, to fight the Scifags. For example, in his video he suggested a movement to revoke the church's tax-exempt status and thus deplete their deep coffers. At first, WBM distanced himself from Anon, and was wary to directly help, out of fear that the Scilons would sic their extensive team of legal professionals on his ass again. Nonetheless, Anonymous took the advice he offered about peaceful protesting seriously, and helped ensure the subsequent successes on 2/10 and 3/15. By successfully convincing Anon to change its strategy, Beardfag, in essence, managed to do the impossible: control the essence of chaos on the Intarwebs.

On 2/10 Wise Beard Man attended the protests in downtown LA and spoke to numerous Anons. He then disappeared for 3 days, causing fears that he had been abducted by Tom Cruise and locked in the actor's infamous closet. However, WBM reappeared on the tubes - explaining his absence by claiming that he suffered a "Temporary Beard Malfunction".

I think wise beard man is a pretty cool guy. eh aids Anonymous in the fight against Scientology and doesn't afraid of anything.



Addressing Anon: You Are Doing It Wrong

Moar WBM[edit]

An interview at the March 15th protests
BeardChan at 3/15
WBM hits 100 videos!

Attacking Scientology's Tax-Exempt Status[edit]

Wise Beard Man in full anti-$cientology battlegear.

Also see:

Scientology doesn't have tax exempt status throughout the world, but they do strive to register themselves as close to tax exempt status as possible with the intention of holding tax exempt status in the future. Throughout all of America, Scientology is recognized as a religion and has the freedom that tax exemption provides. They are not recognized as a religion in Canada, though. In Edmonton, Alberta in particular, Scientology has registered itself as a society. Much like cake, this is a lie. A society is a group of people that act for the benefit of a given community, however they cannot act for the betterment of any specific individual. As you could expect, this doesn't fit Scientology as their design is based around a series of courses that are primarily offered to benefit specific individuals.

If you are in an area where Scientology has tax exempt status, raise awareness in those around you and advise them to write letters to their local politicians pushing for removal of Scientology's tax exempt status. If you are in an area where Scientology does not have tax exempt status, find out how they have registered themselves with the local authorities. The only registration that should fit the bill of Scientology would be an incorporation, which is a business. In your area, depending on the local laws, they may be registered as a non-profit organization, a society, or anything else. If you do figure out how they're registered in your local area, please be sure to update this wiki.

What? This article needs moar relevant information about attacking CoS's Tax Exempt-Status.
You can help by adding moar relevant information about attacking CoS's Tax Exempt-Status.

Censored by YouTube[edit]

Wise Beard Man recently hosted on his channel an interview with Jason Beghe, an actor who had been a high-level brainwashed Scifag until he saw the light and GTFO'd of the cult. YouTube, caving to Scientologist pressure like the weak, cowardly appeasers they are, not only removed the video for trumped up reasons but suspended WBM's account and have not yet restored it. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS Outraged by this faggotry, dozens of YouTubers uploaded the video, bravely risking the banhammer for great justice. As usual with bungling Scifag PR moves, the censorship ensured that far more attention is now being paid to the original interview, and caused its widespread dissemination into the media. Another win.

It was later learned XENUTV1 was suspended after a butthurt troll contacted YouTube and essentially narc'd on Mark. While fears of CO$' involvement were completely logical, the truth was far more confusingly hilarious. This bullshit of reporting Bunker was done by trying to link XenuTV suspension with then current XENUTV1 account. Because for the most part, YouTube insists that once a user is "banned", they are suspended for at least 6 months; or until they "find" you. Due to this utter betrayal; serious business is being taken to deal with this pathetic Nazi.

The official story is that XenuTV had posted a couple of video clips by Steven Colbert talking about Scientology. He also posted the Tom Cruise video on Scientology. He evidently was DMCAd by Viacom AND the COS at practically the same time. His first account was suspended before he had a chance to react to the first DMCA by removing other potentially copyright offending material.

That is the official story. I find the timing of his receiving DMCAs from both Viacom and COS within an hour or so of each other suspicious.


themaskedanalyst reanalysis on history of YouTube's failures.

Who Needs Those Youtube Cunts Anyway?[edit]

Since YouTube can't allow Mark Bunker to have his own account, he made one on vimeo. They allow high-definition unlike JewTube. Besides, even if WBM can't have his own account, there's no rule against someone mirroring his videos on YouTube. Do it, faggot!!!

How To Flag Scientology Videos[edit]


As of April 2008 - a date that will live in faggotry - the Church has been given ITS OWN FUCKING CHANNEL located at http://www.youtube.com/ChurchofScientology . They have 99 videos up. However, they have disabled embedding, but flagging, comments and see all videos by this user are back in power, the comments may have to be approved but you can still let them know how you feel.

If you feel that their content is disagreeable under YouTube's terms and conditions (such as "Predatory Behavior" or "Dangerous Activity") you need to:

  1. YouTube search for "ChurchofScientology" and click on one of their videos.
  2. This will bring up the video in a normal YouTube window instead of the Church's channel.
  3. Flag video.
  4. See list of similar videos on right of screen.
  5.  ????
  6. PROFIT!!!

OR go here.

If you wish to take your complaints directly to YouTube, the talk page for this article features their sekrit contact details as well as copypasta from Enturbulation and links which prove that CoS have previously been b& from YouTube for dropping docs.

Let's hope nobody changes their channel's background to pain series. Srsly.

Nigerian Stealing Guy[edit]

Last Thursday, Wise Beard Man was recording a Scilon protest, when a batshit insane scifag comes out and fought back using her only natural defense: spraying everyone one around her with concentrated fucktardedness. She accused Wise Beard Man of covering up crimes, one of them being possible collusion with his Nigerian Stealing Guy.

Whether Nigerian Stealing Guy is a Nigerian guy who steals, or a guy who steals Nigerians is unclear. However, since stealing is a crime, all blacks commit crime, and all of Nigeria is black as a fucking eclipse, it is most likely the former. What Nigerian Stealing Guy has stolen also remains unknown, but one thing is for sure: He go chop ya dollar.

Unfortunately for the scifag, Wise Beards Man's natural defense when cornered by stupidity is to continuously rotate in a circle while emitting carnival music (That may be because it is actually the scifag that is rotating around emitting carnival music. Perhaps she believes she was a merry-go-round in a past life). This eventually sends the scifag into an "idiocy orbit" and results in intellectual checkmate.

What will happen if he finds out about previous Anonymous raids?[edit]

He'd most likely cry and be very, very disappointed with us or get butthurt like a James Al-Oboudi.


According to some shitty blog and some shitty paper, WBM has been arrested in front of Gold Base in San Jacinto, California, along with Mark Lowell, for "blocking the driveway" to the base. Apparently, they were put under citizen's arrest by the scilons after feeling the butthurt of his beard. GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!1



Some people don't like Wise Beard Man.
  • Wise Beard Man's beard works as a Body Thetan & fail repellent. It also deflect bullets.
  • L.Ron Hubbard once tried to chat up Wise Beard Man in a bar in San Francisco. Wise Beard Man proceeded to kick him in the cunt.
  • There is no chin behind Wise Beard Man's beard. There is only an even more powerful beard.
  • Wise Beard Man is the father of Chuck Norris, and it is a shame that the son will never be as great as his father.
  • Chuck Norris jokes are old news, and Wise Beard Man everyone disdains their use.
  • Wise Beard Man is a prejudiced. He prejudices.
  • Wise Beard Man's beard is a donor organ.
  • Strands from Wise Beard Man's beard are woven together to make the toilet paper used on space shuttles.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Wise Beard Man is not a wise man with a beard, he is a wise beard with a man.
  • Wise Beard Man does not cry. He waters his beard.
  • Not once in Wise Beard Man's life did he ever get sick, injured, or in need of medication. He only needs to re-charge his Beard once every thousand years.
  • Wise Beard Man is the only man to be taken seriously after calling out Anonymous.
  • The same scifag that got crippled by Wise Beard Man thinks that the Second Amendment is freedom of religion. This confirms the hypothesis that Wise Beard Man can create confusion from nothing but his own win (or that Scifags are even more Retarded then we thought possible).

External Links[edit]

See Also[edit]

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